Iron Age Gifts

"We couldn't do this before the iron age."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

The first car accident.

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

Pre-Historic Gentleman's Duel

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

'Well, shoot. Now Uncle Hector's caught in the ice! It's enough to make you want to move to Florida.'

"I know this is going to sound completely crazy and off the wall - but do you, by any chance, know how to iron?"

"Unplug and chill out."

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

'It's the people downstairs again.'

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

'Your mom too? Always saying, 'You never do anything constructive.''

'Oh flips! I've forgot me anvil again!'

"And yet, I too am a still life."

'I thought you knew we play heavy metal.'

'I said it's our wedding day you idiot!'

Monolithopoly.

'It may be industrial strength Crazy Glue©, but substituting it for welds isn't the way to be low bidder.'

Flop Musicals: Singing in the Crane.

'I wish McWit would lead a life of quiet desperation.'

"And they say this country doesn't make anything anymore!"

'I play heavy metal.'

"Upper or lower body workout?"

'I don't need a hard hat, boss. I passed the plumb bob test where they dropped one on me from 50 stories up and I suffered no ill effects.'

"I call it a 'portable fire-stick'."

"Wait! Come Back!"

Napa, Bellevue, McLeon

A foreman at a construction site glares at a smoker and points to the 'Smoking Area' at the end of a high crane.

A bulge of bodybuilders

"Is it cold in here or is it just the Ice Age?"

'Monged too much this week?'