Iron Age Gifts

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

The first car accident.

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

Pre-Historic Gentleman's Duel

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

'Well, shoot. Now Uncle Hector's caught in the ice! It's enough to make you want to move to Florida.'

"Unplug and chill out."

"I know this is going to sound completely crazy and off the wall - but do you, by any chance, know how to iron?"

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

'Your mom too? Always saying, 'You never do anything constructive.''

"And yet, I too am a still life."

'Oh flips! I've forgot me anvil again!'

'It's the people downstairs again.'

'I thought you knew we play heavy metal.'

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

'It may be industrial strength Crazy Glue©, but substituting it for welds isn't the way to be low bidder.'

Monolithopoly.

Flop Musicals: Singing in the Crane.

"Upper or lower body workout?"

'I wish McWit would lead a life of quiet desperation.'

'I play heavy metal.'

'I don't need a hard hat, boss. I passed the plumb bob test where they dropped one on me from 50 stories up and I suffered no ill effects.'

"I call it a 'portable fire-stick'."

"And they say this country doesn't make anything anymore!"

"Wait! Come Back!"

Napa, Bellevue, McLeon

A foreman at a construction site glares at a smoker and points to the 'Smoking Area' at the end of a high crane.

A bulge of bodybuilders

"Is it cold in here or is it just the Ice Age?"

'Monged too much this week?'

"I was thinking about going into politics... but I've got qualifications."