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Oliver Goldsmith.

"Feel free to take notes."

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

Through the Looking Glass - Queen Alice with Frog

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Neptune

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

"Tell us again about the humpback of Notre dame."

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

'Gee, I just never get tired of this!'

James Joyce.

Mad Hatter's tea party.

Triumphant mouse posing like Perseus holding aloft Medusa's head.

"Come in, minion."

"'Frankenstein' is Jewish. I'm Irish on my mother's side because she was green, and an 'O' Houligan'..."

Don Quixote knocking over a propeller.

"What is it with Garrison Keillor and rhubarb pie?"

Once upon a time and a half. William Tell shot an apple on his son's head. Plink! Nice shot, Dad! Plunk!

Three Little Pigs in a Cyclone

"He is stingy. If he is giving gold it's only because prices have hit rock-bottom..."

marionette

'It's a knight in British army issue shining armour' - Knight in string vest and underpants

Freia and the apples of eternal youth

Alexander Pushkin

Charles Dickens

Leon Uris.

"That isn't allowed either."

'It's from Goldilocks's lawyer. Apparently, she's suing us because she burnt her mouth on the hot porridge.'

"Try and stop me if you’ve heard this one before …"

I think the biggest drawback to binge-watching a godawful tv series has to be the hangover.