Ipo Enthusiasists Gifts

Goldilocks IPO Investments: 'Too hot...too cold...JUST RIGHT'.

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

"Your taxes,pension and health deductions have exceeded your wages - here's your bill."

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

'I love the name. Now that we've gone public, what do you think we ought to do?'

Money pouring in for a 'Acme Doodad Company's IPO.

"Our initial public offering, .... The public has gotten wind of it!"

'How fast can you hype?'

Tough Teddies

"I don't get it. I got a job at a fulfillment center and yet I'm still miserable!"

'Would it be cruelly ironic to shape our new cholesterol medication like little eggs?'

"The following is a test of the fire-alarm system. It is only a test. Please ignore the intense heat and combustion."

"Then I told him, 'Unions are powerless in this country... What can you do to me?'"

"We could hire some sign-wavers to stand by the side of the road and advertise our product."

Welcome to Hell - No Smoking

'When they said a cruise with a 'balcony view' I didn't think they meant a view of the balcony.'

What your guitar says about you.

Washing Machine Torture

'So anyways, I got a great deal on a candle factory from this total sucker and,,, hey, watcha reading'

"I'm an optimist. I'm convinced that everything is going to go to hell, but not for a while yet."

"We've lowered our IPO price so many times, the Street's referring to it as an Initial Pathetic Offer."

We have skule clothes.

Easy Budget Terms Are Not That Easy.

"Why don't you take off early today? Don't forget to pack up your desk...."

"Well, that backfired."

'I want one that says 'get lost' but includes a pocket compass.'

'Sorry to disappoint you, your salary increase was a computer error'

Business acquaintances on holiday

"All brooms are useless. . .!!"