Investment Managers Mugs

The argument SEEMS to be that if we don't pay him a HUGE bonus then he'll leave and destroy someone elses business and then we'd have to pay even MORE in a 'competetive' market to get someone equivalently useless to replace him!

'I think they're overdoing this merger business.'

"It helps us assess the situation better from up here."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The day the stock market went UP.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

In the Guru District

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"What's a debenture?"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

Build Your Own Portfolio

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio?'

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

The economy.

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

E.U. Banking Union.

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

European currency on the edge.

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes