Investment Buffet Lover Gifts

'Bill's overweight on Krispy Kreme, plus he owns the stock.'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Profit

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

Build Your Own Portfolio

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

Wall Street Couch

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Day trading.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

'Don't you love these all you can eat buffets?'

"My path to success and fortune was that rather than foraging and storing my own food, I built a portfolio of storage properties to rent..."

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'

Men on escalators reading newspapers, shares are going up on the up escalator and down on the down escalator.

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

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