Investing In Agriculture T-Shirts

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

The Jeopardy of Progress

'Now that I have your attention...'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

The day the stock market went UP.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"It's official"..."It's a drought!"

In the Guru District

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Profit

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

The Vineyard

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

Mario Draghi

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."