Inventory Jokester Pillows

'I remember when tea leaves were the state of the art method of determining your inventory needs.'

Do it yourself books.

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

'Barry I think it's time you had your eyes checked!'

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

"Apparently, I'm fun, but I'm no fun in bed."

"What?"

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

"...And when the world economy collapses, we all stand up and take over! Agreed?"

'I'm worried - she insisted on closing every one of her accounts while she waited...'

'Did you or did you not make my client laugh so hard that milk came out his nose, causing the kids at his cafeteria table to laugh at him?'

"This space intentionally left blank."

'We're all out of the (bar code) but can I interest you in the (different bar code)?'

"The DVD you want is on my right earlobe."

'Here's a twenty. Go nuts.'

STRIP Hambone: Techinical support in layman's terms #2

'Murder my spouse? Oh, that's nothing but an old wives' tale.'

101 uses of a dead cat: chaps.

'The movie doesn't scare me - the commercials do.'

'He's a great dog...a bit of a drooler though.'

GPS Shoes

'It was just a matter of time, old cowpuncher, 'til one of them punched back.'

Roger's computer crashes.

"I thought we said no presents!"

"Actually, I was hoping for someone more bullish as my broker."

Velcro Paws.

'Are you still going steady with that left leg at number thirty six?'

"I suppose we could convert it to bitcoin."

'I don't know how, but he has the bird flu.'

'Great car-chasing scenes!'

"For God's sake Dennis, that was the budgie!"

I've read fifteen books in the last three months, Randy. What? You? Read? Books were invented 5 thousand years ago, little buddy