Showroom Jokester Pillows

"Hard luck, car showrooms don't count!"

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

Do it yourself books.

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

He likes to make work fun

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

'You're one heck of a corporate head-hunter, Ms. Bridwell.'

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"This is Mr Johnson, the man who works under me."

'Assume the position, Caruthers. I'm going to frisk you for a good idea.'

"No, I said go knock yourself out."

Waste Management.

'Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, feel sorry for the people who have to work with you.'

"I know eight hours sleep a day is normal... but not at work!"

'How are you at takeovers?'

'Because I'm the boss. That's why I'm so bossy.'

"What?"

"Shall we call it a day? Sure, boss, let's call it Friday!"

"I have your evaluation...great teamwork, great morale...basically, you're a good dog."

Your HR File: Warnings, Crazy Stunts, Psych Eval.

'Mr. Fogarty believes that people work better under the constant threat of a noogie.'

"I think he sometimes regrets hiring a former first grade teacher as his secretary."

'I remember when tea leaves were the state of the art method of determining your inventory needs.'

"The GOOD news is that customers complaints are down, the BAD news is that we've got no customers."

Builder's Crack T-shirt

Suits you Sir!

'Perhaps we should start off with an underwear transplant.'

Bring your dog to work day - let someone else make the big decisions.

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go.'

Gang of Musicians