Showroom Jokester Pillows

"Hard luck, car showrooms don't count!"

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

Do it yourself books.

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

He likes to make work fun

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

'You're one heck of a corporate head-hunter, Ms. Bridwell.'

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"This is Mr Johnson, the man who works under me."

'Assume the position, Caruthers. I'm going to frisk you for a good idea.'

"No, I said go knock yourself out."

Waste Management.

'Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, feel sorry for the people who have to work with you.'

'How are you at takeovers?'

"I know eight hours sleep a day is normal... but not at work!"

"What?"

'Because I'm the boss. That's why I'm so bossy.'

"Shall we call it a day? Sure, boss, let's call it Friday!"

Builders fashion range

"I have your evaluation...great teamwork, great morale...basically, you're a good dog."

Your HR File: Warnings, Crazy Stunts, Psych Eval.

Athen's Theater. "Oedipus Rex" didn't test well as a title, Sophocles. How would you feel about calling it "My Big Fat Greek Tragedy"?

"I think he sometimes regrets hiring a former first grade teacher as his secretary."

'Mr. Fogarty believes that people work better under the constant threat of a noogie.'

'I remember when tea leaves were the state of the art method of determining your inventory needs.'

Builder's Crack T-shirt

"The GOOD news is that customers complaints are down, the BAD news is that we've got no customers."

Store sells too short t-shirts.

'Perhaps we should start off with an underwear transplant.'

Suits you Sir!

'The contest brought in only twenty two wrappers...'