Intuitive Cook T-Shirts

"You don't use a cookbook, Tia Carmen?"

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

Children's Feast.

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

Pie Filling Reader

Baloneystini

All-Candy Seder.

Picasso

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

"I'm starving! How long will dinner be?"

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Onion Guillotine

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

Blue Blazer Cocktail.

Get me a bottle of house white. I need to clean the stainless steel surfaces.

"And he's a nutritional-support animal, too."

Spiro & Pusho mincing fish in meat mincer.

Cooks

Pizza, the CD

'Great crisps.' 'Yes, they're old cornflakes and salt.'

"Sure, organic free-range poultry is more expensive, but consider all the guilt you're saving."

'My compliments to your bioengineer.'

Wife at breakfast: 'We're out of sugar - how about chocolate milk on your cereal?'

'Hoopla!'

Wow. That was a lot faster. (Published originally on October 20, 2011.)

Clandestine Cuisine

Regular/Organic Cauldrons.

'I'm short of ingredients. What's a good substitute for filet mignon?'

'These are exquisite! You simply must give me your recipe.'

'I hope you like it. I call it refrigerator cleanout casserole.'

Quisine: Exciting New Dishes Inspired By Whatever's Left On Your Shelf

Helen was determined to get rid of her leftovers.

Tagliatelle

"You'll be perfect for this Emeril Lagasse recipe I want to try!"