Clever Cook T-Shirts

"And he's a nutritional-support animal, too."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

Children's Feast.

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

Baloneystini

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

All-Candy Seder.

Tzatzikicicle

Amy Sedaris

Picasso

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

The Nervous Gourmet:Low-Risk Chicken

'You're making a marble cake? Did you run out of eggs?'

Spatula Conductor

'Strong wind from the west tonight.'

Get me a bottle of house white. I need to clean the stainless steel surfaces.

Virgin Olive Oil. Not-Virgin-But-Has-A-Heart-Of-Gold Olive Oil.

Artist and chiken

Noodle exchange program.

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

Wow. That was a lot faster. (Published originally on October 20, 2011.)

"You don't use a cookbook, Tia Carmen?"

Pizza, the CD

Wife at breakfast: 'We're out of sugar - how about chocolate milk on your cereal?'

'Hoopla!'

Who wants to lick the swatters.

"She'll only eat it if I cut it up in cloverleaf shapes, serve it on a blue plate, and do a little dance as I serve it."

'I'm short of ingredients. What's a good substitute for filet mignon?'

'These are exquisite! You simply must give me your recipe.'

'Do try our jailhouse rock cake.'