Introverted Reader Gifts

Armchair Sportsman

"Too crowded. Let's go."

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

Self-Isolating. Do Not Disturb (Except For Food).

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

She required plenty of personal space.

It's not considered drinking alone if the cat is at home.

'How come we never get invited to 'come as you are' parties?'

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

'A quick pint or a quiet drink?'

'Mind if I join you?'

Brown Non-Recluse Spider

'You can social network me behind my ears if you like.'

'Before you go, introduce yourself, so that I know who you were...'

Big Talk/Small Talk.

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

"The joy of the house to myself"

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

Introverted Chair

"I've replaced all the workers with machines, but now I crave human interaction!"

'You cant do anything these days without someone suspecting your motives. . . there is only one way out. . . inaction.'

"I don't want to go back to school; other people are my kryptonite."

"I work from home because I can’t stand the sight of idiots." "Is that why you got rid of all our mirrors?"

"Are you still mad at me?" "Mentally I'm storming off right now."

"This isn't working out - I'm an earthworm and you're a....are you even listening to me?"

The reserved and the go-ers.'

"If you think I talk too much, you should come right out say so! That way we can talk about it."

"There she is! Don’t be nervous. Just be yourself, walk over there and sniff her."

Ouija Bored

'I've decided to replace all human interaction with personal electronics.'

"Hello, I'm the bluebird of quiet resignation."

"The thing about society is that it gives me such anxiety..."

Yeah, I do the same thing – sniff their posts but never contribute. Dog lurkers.