Introverted Conversationalist T-Shirts

"How do I like it cut? In silence!"

Small Talk

What price beauty?

It's not considered drinking alone if the cat is at home.

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

'You can social network me behind my ears if you like.'

'Before you go, introduce yourself, so that I know who you were...'

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

"I've replaced all the workers with machines, but now I crave human interaction!"

"I know you hate these parties. Just do your best to blend in."

Ouija Bored

"It's the break room, Ed. There are people in there, too. I know it's hard, after all that time working from home, but you're going to have to start getting used to them again."

"I moved out here for peace and quiet, but now I keep talking to myself."

"I'm at the office party."

"...First, we'll have to get you out of your shell...."

Three Bland Mice

A Lonely Man

Eye contact zone next 50 feet.

I'm no good at small talk

Hi-I'm Dave. Hi-I'm off limits.

Send. End.

"Having received your offer of friendship, and after due consideration and given the fact that I don't know you from a bar of soap, I must inform you that I will be declining your request."

"Does this mean I have to talk to someone I don't know?"

"I'm not used to communicating face-to-face. Can we conduct this interview via text?"

'It's not you it's me not liking you.'

"Well look who decided to show up."

"Just my luck to marry the only man in town with the mind-body problem."

Shy author hiding while signing books.

A shy parish cleric seeking to talk business with a lady

Person is hiding behind book entitled 'Coping with shyness'.

"He has a lot of followers on Twitter, but we're the only ones who follow him in real life."

"Honey, you're doing that thing again where you stare into space and wonder how I talked you into leaving the house."