Introductions Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Arnold, this is Tina Feldman, backlit."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

Welcome to the Team

Do you have any other skills?

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

"I'm looking for a 'yes man' who can say 'no' without sounding negative"

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

"You say you’re currently holding down 3 jobs...very impressive."

Help wanted. Various positions available.

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

"I've been reading a book of famous quotations. It's amazing how many are by a famous Greek named Anonymous."

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

"Tia Carmen, did you ever wish summer was over...so you could be in school?"

'He will observe your text now...'

'How many words per minute do you type?'

'You don't want the job, do you?'

"And where do you see your mustache in five years?"

'Have you got a resume?'

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'

"Where do you see yourself five lives from now?"

'Quotes, woof, woof, woof, woof, closed quotes.'

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"I enjoyed your resume, young man - especially the hand-written addendum from your mom."

I think you should go after my job!

Frog Prince thinks: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horsefly.'

Don't use live interviews as rehearsals-practise and prepare.

"You're the type who'll make me prove every claim I make."

"So you wouldn't be interrupted while interviewing me, I took the liberty of calling in a bomb threat."