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'My agent told me to bring some arm candy.'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Packaging Russian Dolls

Thomas Mann.

Nathaniel Hawthorne

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Television Readers.

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

Silence of the Chickens...

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Characters jumping out of a book.

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Iris Murdoch

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

Star Wars Audience

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

My Literary Influences

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

Filling the Missile Gap

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

Editor.

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

'Is this your first book launch?'

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"

Library

Voltaire

Little boy reading a classic whilst his Dad reads a comic.