Interview Technique Pillows

Recruitment Agency - Tips for getting that dream job.

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

I'm a self-made man!

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

"I'm looking for a 'yes man' who can say 'no' without sounding negative"

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

"According to your resume, you've done just about everything except ever having a job."

"I'll put your application on file, Mr. Brandt, but I'm quite happy with my current paperweight."

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.