Interview Satire Fan Pillows

"Of course I've got excellent people skills . . . do you have any other stupid questions?"

"We're looking for a tough, aggressive guard dog. Have you been neutered? No, wait ??" I'm not allowed to ask that."

'You know, I was buying this resume until I got to the part about you serving on your town's Ouija Board.'

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Director/Action Man toy.

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

What's normal?

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

The Working Woman's Magazine

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

"I find that hugely offensive!"

On the brink.

The Snarky District

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

Parade of Businessmen

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

How am I abducting?

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

'Mom, don't you understand? Those collars are symbols of subservience and repression!'

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'