Interview Process Analyst Prints

"Number four wasn't bad, at least he removed his personal CD earphones for most of the interview."

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

'Now, remember...let me do the talking.'

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

"Suppose you tell me why you want to be a faceless drone at Globatron Inc.?"

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

'Make up your mind, pal - there are plenty of other fish who'd give their gills for this job.'

The bluebird of passive-aggressiveness

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

"These are excellent qualifications... so good that our largest competitor would gladly pay you twice as much."

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

'We need someone bright, someone quick to take notice.'

'Maybe we should have been a bit more specific in the ad...'

"And just how long have you been, 5' 10"?"

'...the job is so much harder when you don't know what you are doing.'

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

'You're not at all qualified. Thanks for coming in and wasting my time. We'll let you know by the end of the week.'

"In your CV under 'experience' all you've written is 'YIPEE!'."

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."

'We're not hiring. The company is just giving me some experience conducting interviews.'

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt. Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

Recruitment Agency - Tips for getting that dream job.

"I can handle a wide variety of work. In fact I've had ten different jobs in four months."

"You should hire me now, before my skills completely deteriorate."

"Job interview!"

Now Hiring, 'I was about to ask him if he could work without supervision, when he just wandered away!'

"...and before that, I was an embryo."

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

"Where would you say you are on the confidence/cockiness spectrum?"

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'