Interview Mastermind Pillows

"Before I give you my resume, I'd like to know how thorough you fact check."

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

"I believe we have a quorum for the meeting."

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"The team needs LEADERSHIP, anyone have a view on that?"

'Harold is the brains behind the Smudge-o-Rama mailer.'

"This is super. I asked for super-duper."

Carlo Ancelotti

'Our problem is, we do more blamestorming than brainstorming.'

'Send in the next applicant Ms Jones.'

"Today's top priority is prioritizing our priorities."

"Mmm, processed food. Just like mom used to microwave."

I don't like the looks of this.

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

Jurgen Klopp Caricature

Management by committee: 'The buck stops here, here, here, here,,,'

Alex Ferguson

What are they complaining about...the work is challenging,interesting, demanding...AND we let them do it for 80 hours a week.

"The meeting's over but it's so close to the end of the day. Let's just use our collective inertia and run out the clock."

'Give it to me straight, doc. How much longer do I have in advertising's prime demographic audience?'

'No wonder the company is in trouble!'

"What choice do we have? I can't fire him. He knows too much."

'...it may be advisable to think of a referee other than your mother.'

'Impressive resume. Great interview. But can you rock?'

"Great video, but the sound was off. I wonder whose fault that was."

Jose Mourinho

'The curious incident of the dig in the night-gown.'

'It's not a job; it's a calling. So, don't call us. It'll call you.'

Swiss Cheese Factory. Did you get the job? Yes --- I finally found an employer who's impressed by all the holes in my resume!

'What about short-term? Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'