Interview Gladiator Pillows

This castle manager job better be for real.

"Well, you're both strong candidates with very similar résumés so we've decided to settle the matter through hand to hand combat."

Rage.

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

'Dog eat dog.'

"When you've been here as long as I have, you'll start to burn out"

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

'You're on the shortlist. It's between you and the bloke who's going to get the job.'

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

"Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until Monday?"

'I'm calling you out, account to account.'

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

"Can I put in a claim for interview trauma compensation?"

"I feel your pain. It's the least I can do for not paying you like a man."

Business cartoon showing a stressed business woman who has three urgent messages on her office door.

Boardroom Armour

'I take it this department has had conflicts.'

"There goes the merger between Brigg's corporation and Ludlow industries!"

'We're facing a hostile takeover.'

"Just identifying weak members of the herd."

'Remember not to shirk the paperwork.'

"It was a horrible workplace accident - he tripped and fell into the company rumor mill. Poor devil never knew what hit him!"

'I'll have to let you go, Bob - Ted, from accounting, is challenging my position as alpha male!'

"Tell us something we don't know."

"Murray's the guy you replaced. He's decided to fight to get his job back."

'I want someone who'll not just take the firms line, but the hook and sinker, too.'

"She can be outspoken."

'What's a guy got to do to get a drink around here?'

'I know I've interviewed for this position last month, but since then I've hired a personal coach. I was thinking maybe a do-over interview.'

'The Position's yours, Henderson - But first you must defeat our champion.'

'Strap it on, Yomp! Here at Global - Acme and Jones, we play hardball!'

Nature vs. Nietzsche.

"You need to put on some weight if you want to keep your job!"