Interview Escapade Enthusiast Pillows

"I had to take three buses and a cab to get here. Talk about a difficult transit!"

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

Do you have any other skills?

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'This is my kind of place. You knock bottles off a table with a baseball and get a prize instead of time-out!'

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"I'm looking for a 'yes man' who can say 'no' without sounding negative"

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

"You say you’re currently holding down 3 jobs...very impressive."

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

"That's nice, but do you have any references other than your Mom?"

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

Help wanted. Various positions available.

"I see you have a lot of experience in re-tail. . ."

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

"Again, you may exercise your right to remain silent, but it's going to work against you since this is a job interview."

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

"Hey! I can see the Empire State Building!"

'He will observe your text now...'

'It's a difficult position to fill. Someone who's smarter than me - and smart enough to pretend not to know it.'

"Mine says this relationship will never work out and I should dump you right now!"

'You don't want the job, do you?'

"And where do you see your mustache in five years?"

"Where do you see yourself five lives from now?"

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'

'Have you got a resume?'

'If I got the job as a sales manager here at Zenadine, I would probably straggle in around 10, then surf the Net for a while, do a crossword...'

"What's the problem? I said dinner and a movie."