Interview Complications Lover Pillows

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

'Don't be nervous, relax...he puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like you do. Of course, his pants are tailor made and cost $600 a pair...'

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"You may have heard some very slanderous rumours about this company."

"Will this job involve multiple choice, true and false, or essay questions?"

"We're able to use you, Crampton… everything but the 'oink'."

"References? Well, I just got six references from the guys in your waiting room."

'W e e e l l . . . my mum says I'm good at testing the patience of saints'

"Where do you see yourself after 5 beers?"

"A High-Pain Job? Yes, I believe we have that."

"Have you ever used a plastic straw?"

'This is a very impressive resume. Did you pad it yourself.'

Virtual interview.

"Can you characterize yourself in five words."

'Besides a great smile, do you have any other qualifications we could consider?'

"This is so much more fun than reading CVs."

'Where do you see yourself five years from now?'

"I'd give you a list of references but no one will admit they know me."

I have an opening for someone like you. It's called a door.

"I love your enthusiasm but we were actually looking for someone who could do the job."

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the consultants."

"So where do you see yourself in 5 years apart from a thousand miles from this f****** s**thole?"

"Where do you see yourself in 5 to 10 years?"

Other than the water cooler and the soda machine, can you operate other office equipment?

It was the harshest job interviews Peter had ever attended...

"The aliens that control my brain really want me to get this job."

Number two pencil, pretending to be a number one, fears that his deception has been uncovered.

Ted's confidence quickly fades.

"I suppose my one weakness is I'm far too forthright, Tubby."

"We want someone who can lead in a crisis, but doesn't."

"Where do you see yourself, say, five recessions from now?"

"My last job was as a mine interpreter...I would go to a park and describe what the mime was trying to convey."