Intervention Participation Pillows

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

Parent Involvement Tip #1

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

'Life can be tough, Peel.' - 'Yes.' - 'But you have to stay positive.' - 'Yes' - 'You have to keep telling yourself, 'This loser is funding my holiday to Hawaii.' - 'Yes.'

"With Harry all options are on the table, including pointlessly looking for a job that doesn't exist for him anymore."

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

'Our telephone 'get out the vote' drive reached everyone, unfortunately, they all voted for our opponent.'

Life can be beautiful, Al. But for you, the fly in the ointment is your self-loathing. So, my question to you is, what's the fly doing in the ointment? The backstroke!

The Republican Statesman at Home

'GET READY! SET!...'TIME!'

HappyHouse Daycare. Family-owned & family-run since this many (fingers showing a count of seven) years.

"Quiet? I'd even read for the understudy part for someone who is between engagements."

Pop's store's wanted ad: MOM.

'A boat in every garage, a limit of fish in every creel!'

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

'There's something about being locked up with a 500lb gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time.'

"...Apparently we're responsible for snow removal on that stretch of highway we adopted."

Kamala Devi Harris caricature

Neighborhood Watch.

"Don't worry about him. It's all a bluff."

'Lower.No,lower. A way lower. - Under the arms.Under the arms! Around his chest! OK listen...- Do you want to learn the Heimlich manoeuvre or not?!!!'

'I'd take that with a pinch of salt if I thought the council could spare any.'

To protest the lousy food at the nursing home, the guys, just like back in the day, staged a 'sit-in'. Unfortunately, nobody noticed.

'My drug problem is a little different. I'm being drug to P.T.A meetings, drug to little league practice, drug to dance rehersal, drug to...'

Community Complaints Redress Mechanisms Bureaucracy

Rudy Park, our protagonist, had grown addicted to buying iPhone apps. To save him, there remained only one option: Intervention. Rudy, we're here to help you with your problem. Gather 'round. Thwack! I paid $6.99 for an app that makes the sound thwak! Thwack! Inpatient may be our only option. Thwack! Hee hee.

'We need to start working more closely to try to improve these grades. Do you have my office number?'

Charter 88 / Charter Nooga Choo-Choo

2010 Teacher Layoffs.