Intervention Participation T-Shirts

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

Parent Involvement Tip #1

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

'Life can be tough, Peel.' - 'Yes.' - 'But you have to stay positive.' - 'Yes' - 'You have to keep telling yourself, 'This loser is funding my holiday to Hawaii.' - 'Yes.'

"With Harry all options are on the table, including pointlessly looking for a job that doesn't exist for him anymore."

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

'Our telephone 'get out the vote' drive reached everyone, unfortunately, they all voted for our opponent.'

'GET READY! SET!...'TIME!'

The Republican Statesman at Home

"Quiet? I'd even read for the understudy part for someone who is between engagements."

Kamala Devi Harris caricature

"...Apparently we're responsible for snow removal on that stretch of highway we adopted."

Pop's store's wanted ad: MOM.

'A boat in every garage, a limit of fish in every creel!'

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

'There's something about being locked up with a 500lb gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time.'

Neighborhood Watch.

"Don't worry about him. It's all a bluff."

'I'd take that with a pinch of salt if I thought the council could spare any.'

'Lower.No,lower. A way lower. - Under the arms.Under the arms! Around his chest! OK listen...- Do you want to learn the Heimlich manoeuvre or not?!!!'

Charter 88 / Charter Nooga Choo-Choo

'My drug problem is a little different. I'm being drug to P.T.A meetings, drug to little league practice, drug to dance rehersal, drug to...'

To protest the lousy food at the nursing home, the guys, just like back in the day, staged a 'sit-in'. Unfortunately, nobody noticed.

'We need to start working more closely to try to improve these grades. Do you have my office number?'

2010 Teacher Layoffs.

Community Complaints Redress Mechanisms Bureaucracy