Interrogation Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Personally, I think a question like that says a lot more about YOU than it does about me.'

'This will help you keep track of who's who.'

Good Carp, Bad Carp

"Good job, inspector! Today you made the suspect dance and tomorrow you'll make him sing!"

"Don't pull that ditzy-chick, routine with me! A witness saw you cross the road, what I want to know is. . . why?"

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

Do you have any other skills?

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

"I'm looking for a 'yes man' who can say 'no' without sounding negative"

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.

"You say you’re currently holding down 3 jobs...very impressive."

Help wanted. Various positions available.

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

'He will observe your text now...'

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

'How many words per minute do you type?'

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

'You don't want the job, do you?'

"And where do you see your mustache in five years?"

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'

"Where do you see yourself five lives from now?"

'Have you got a resume?'

"I enjoyed your resume, young man - especially the hand-written addendum from your mom."

'What makes you think you know so much?' - 'Your questions.'

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

Don't use live interviews as rehearsals-practise and prepare.

I think you should go after my job!