Interpersonal Diplomat T-Shirts

'Perhaps you can have the chair by the window next week, Mr Jones'

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

Israel/Palestine Conflict

"This happens everytime someone asks to speak to the head of the household."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

Incompatible.

'Dear, you know how I hate it when you bring your work home.'

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

'We're having an argument. Do you know any battle marches?'

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

'...It's O.K. hon', it's just the third world.'

'I know that other kids manage on ?5 pocket money - but their parents don't charge them to watch any television programme their parents don't happen to approve off!'

What really happened on the EVER GIVEN

"I am not ‘politicizing the issue’ — I simply asked you to pick up your room!"

"You forgot to pick up the dry cleaning. It's written all over your face."

"I cede the remainder of my time to the ranking member."

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

Militant Pacifists

AUKUS Deal Annoys France

EU

'It wasn't premeditated.

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

'Your three o'clock cancelled, we're still awaiting the Parson verdict, and your husband wants to know if the dishes are dirty or clean.'

Twice a year, Uncle Mort and Sadie Cohen have an official relationship talk. While this biannual conversation is scheduled by mutual consent under long-standing treaty, some participants engage grudgingly. Let's talk about our feelings. I don't feel like it. That's not a feeling, Snookums! Loophole!

'No, Bob, I haven't noticed you haven't spoken to me in 3 days... I just thought we were getting along.'

"She leaves wooden-handled knives soaking in the dishwater all night long. Your Honor."

"The defense rests."