Internet Relationship Gifts

'We met on the Internet.'

In the Guru District

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

Life is for the birds.

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Romance

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"You do like octopus?"

'Oh my God. I love it!'

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Right click for yes...

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"