Internet Rant Enthusiast Pillows

"If there's anything we can do to make your stay more pleasant, just rant about it all over the Internet."

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

'The NHS is committed to patients having control over their care...So if you'd like to check your symptoms online I'll be back later for a diagnosis and careplan.'

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it' met its match.

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comment section just solved the Middle East crisis."

Internet Shoplifting

"I can't log-on. Some-one disabled cookies."

Spam.

Whoever said "Brevity is the soul of wit" must have not read many tweets!

Unsocial Networking.

"I'm starting a Kickstarter campaign to fund a rival to Kickstarter."

"Great! Now I'm torn between whether to post rants on X or Meta."

Amateur Spam.

'Well you know the old saying... if you can't beat 'em you can always google someone who can.'

"I'll be the superhero—you be the guy arguing about him online."

"It's unbelievable to get kicked out of paradise because of one lousy apple... But wait, I'll give you a really bad rating for that, buddy!"

"If your internet doesn't work, please check our online help chat...if your internet doesn't work..."

'He's switched from tweeting on Twitter to growling on a new social media site called Growler. Suits him better.'

'Before we begin may I emit a prolonged rant about my work week?

"I've been toiling for months to write the great American tweet."

'I'm hoping he'll move onto another subject...'

Download Hot Pics: Leda and the Swan.

"Everything I see looks like a website captcha. I'm either having vision problems, or I'm spending too much time online."

"My ears are burning - Somebody must be blogging about me."

Man: 'What the...?!' / 404 ERROR!

Internet crap.

"The best thing about getting old is YouTube wasn't around when we did really stupid stuff."

If Leonardo Da Vinci had posted a copy of the Mona Lisa online after painting it.

Tuesday is drunken rant night. The noncommissioned officer is the backbone of this man's army!!!

"Of course your data isn't really in a cloud. That's almost as silly as thinking your money is actually in this bank."

Mort, sweetie, it's time for our lunch date. Can it wait? I'm in the middle of a rant. Why, that's no problem at all. In fact, I'd like to add something. But of course, my petunia. If I don't eat soon, Mort will never get another smooch! Who needs world order, really Another victory for Lip Gloss Diplomacy.

"Has anyone done their research online how to do this?"

Anti-Social Networking

'You've stumped me with that question, I think that's something you need to Google'