Internet Memer Pillows

America's Funniest Encrypted Passwords

"And then I met some computer people who could make it look as if I were talking."

'I see your site doesn't have a 'like' button. The good news is it doesn't need one.'

Moses on the web

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

Text Culture

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

'We'll be outsourcing Main Street.'

'As you know, medical costs have skyrocketed -- that'll be fifty cents.'

'We're under a lot of time-pressure here, so we'll need to jump to conclusions.'

"Any further comments? Alright then, we're adjourned."

'It's been a tough quarter, so in lieu of bonuses, you'll all be receiving a DVD of out-takes from our meetings.'

'It was here when Harris decided to 'tweak' things a bit...'

"We're not doing virtual meetings anymore, Stu."

"Does our improvement really need to be so continuous?"

The Web is mightier than the sword.

Now, gentlemen, doesn't the smaller table make these board meetings more cozy?'

'If youth is wasted on youth, I'd just as well spend my time social networking.'

"Are you kids going to behave, or do I have to put my foot down?!"

"Dislocating your jaw yawning during my lecture on work related injuries is NOT a work related injury!"

Accept cookies?

'When I asked how much memory you had left I was asking about your computer, not you.'

'I thought elephants never forgot, but according to these results you have alzheimer's disease.'

'Now, 'ol doc, he'd have wrapped 'er the other way.'

The Evolution of Pop Culture Scapegoats

"Please stand and join us in half-assing your way through our national anthem."

"Poison ivy? No, I said you have a poison IV. Honestly, I have no idea why we keep that stuff right next to the medicine."

'My good memory is a curse: There are things I would like to forget...'

"I hope they're not fake commandments!"

'He was a lifelong knee-jerk liberal until he got knee replacement surgery.'

'Norton, couldn't you have taken care of that before the meeting?'

"He was a prolific writer who made a lot of mistakes and eventually lost his mind. It all sounds so pointless."

'I had to co-pay for the bagel.'

The Potato Salad Society