Medical Memer Pillows

"Poison ivy? No, I said you have a poison IV. Honestly, I have no idea why we keep that stuff right next to the medicine."

'Now, 'ol doc, he'd have wrapped 'er the other way.'

Casualty

Text Culture

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

'As you know, medical costs have skyrocketed -- that'll be fifty cents.'

'We'll be outsourcing Main Street.'

'We're under a lot of time-pressure here, so we'll need to jump to conclusions.'

'It's been a tough quarter, so in lieu of bonuses, you'll all be receiving a DVD of out-takes from our meetings.'

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

'It was here when Harris decided to 'tweak' things a bit...'

"We're not doing virtual meetings anymore, Stu."

"Does our improvement really need to be so continuous?"

The Web is mightier than the sword.

Now, gentlemen, doesn't the smaller table make these board meetings more cozy?'

"Are you kids going to behave, or do I have to put my foot down?!"

'If youth is wasted on youth, I'd just as well spend my time social networking.'

"Dislocating your jaw yawning during my lecture on work related injuries is NOT a work related injury!"

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

"And then I met some computer people who could make it look as if I were talking."

'I see your site doesn't have a 'like' button. The good news is it doesn't need one.'

'I see a change in matters of the heart, liver, kidneys. . .'

"I hope they're not fake commandments!"

Man pondering signpost reading NHS and Complementary Medicine.

'He was a lifelong knee-jerk liberal until he got knee replacement surgery.'

'She's a little upset. Apparently, when the cosmetic surgeon asked her what kind of chin she'd like, she thought he said gin and asked for a double.'

'Norton, couldn't you have taken care of that before the meeting?'

'They say medicine is a calling. . . but it's days like this I wish I'd had call waiting.'

'I had to co-pay for the bagel.'

"I'm thinking of getting out of medicine completely… or volunteering in a third world country to do my liposuction."

America's Funniest Encrypted Passwords

'There have been some mutterings that the partnership council is just window dressing...'