Internet-free Fun Pillows

I dunno, whadda you wanna do offline?

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

Clown Skis.

'Wow! School's only been out for ten minutes, and I've already forgotten everything I learned.'

Teddy Bear

'Now then you two, you can't both be Australia - one of you has to be England!'

'We think he has a future in politics.'

A boy blows a raspberry at birds

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'I won't bother to bath Mum, we're playing again tomorrow!'

"This may take a minute as my mom's menu options have changed."

"People will pay anything to get away from it all. These babies don't even have WiFi on them."

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

"There's no phones, social media, selfies, reality TV, online trolls, political-correctness or fake news."

"Don't kid yourself. Harold, you're no spring chicken!"

"It's for my husband's birthday party. Do you have a piñata filled with beer?"

Swing without a tree

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

'Times sure have changed. When I was your age, I made them from scratch.'

Wikileaks

Naughty Kid using a bin lid as a catapult.

'I'm not making a mess, Mom - I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

Santa entering a pool for a swim

The First Asshole

Whatever 'shenanigans' are, they must be long. Grandma says there's no end to mine!

"When I was young, we made statements using signs and marches!"

"Let's bury the TV remote and all the cell phones, then sit back and watch what happens."

"My summer vacation report contains descriptions of excessive sugar consumption, and unsupervised play. Listener discretion is advised."

'Now this how you handle the end of summer...'

"It's face painting Friday."

'Dear Santa, I want a super plasma intruder. One that blows fire and eats people and destroys citys!!!!! Jimmy. ps Have a merry Christmas!

'All the fourth grade guys took a blood oath not to learn anything during the summer.'

364 days a year jobless. Please help!

"Well that's one way of getting your ball on the green. . ."