Internet Diagnosticians Pillows

"Stupid insurance form won't let me choose web as my primary care physician!"

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

Alternative Medicine

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

The new Physics

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

'I checked my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead!'

"They'll never guess how we stole their data."

"If this is secret information the government doesn't want us to know, how come we can read about it on facebook?"

"I've already go t a diagnosis from homedoc.com..."

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

The Darknet starts right here.

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

Berlitz guide to Scamese

"I looked up your rash online. Have you recently been to one of the moons of Saturn? Or, it could just be poison ivy."

"That's not what it says on the Web."

'Four out of five websites disagree with your diagnosis.'

"I already know he's gone — it's been on the Internet."

"Your internet researched analysis of your condition and treatment is impressive,and it would be 100% on target...if you were a goat!"

"I warned him being online was dangerous."

"Hello?"

The Big Bad Wolf

Skinny P. monitors the compliance of social media standards.

"I think we've been hacked."

"Nurse! Call the doctor, I've found out what is wrong with me."

You have a hangover!

"I looked up my symptoms on the internet and I'm worried that I might be dead."

"It's the only way I can get some of my paitents to listen to me."

'I disagree with you, doctor. It's not just a hangnail. According to the Internet, it's a rare genetic disorder. . .'

"I'm not feeling too great. Maybe I'll ask WebMD what's wrong with me."

"Sorry, honey. Did we wake you with our weeping and gnashing of teeth?"