Internet Diagnosis Debunkers Gifts

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent 11 years studying medicine when your research online seems to have identified your condition...if you were a Patagonian fruit bat!"

"Stinkin' fake news!"

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

'I checked my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead!'

Thwarting the Boys from Brazil

'Ever since I had a disease named after me, people seem to keep their distance.'

'Never, Ever...believe everything you read.'

"The immigrant kids ate the class hamster, my teacher is an agent of Satan, and I got an A."

"That's not what it says on the Web."

"Fortunately treatment will be relatively inexpensive since you have the generic form of the disease!"

A woman stops at a building directory sign for Centers for Diseases.

We never went to the moon. The Youtube evidence is conclusive. Not the Van Allen thing again." "Van Allen." It is absolutely impossible for human beings to traverse the Van Allen radiation belt. Explain how the Apollo astronauts passed through that radiation belt without either dying or hulking out. They were exposed to a cat-scan's worth of radiation. It was supposed to be a rhetorical question.

Covid Juggling

"It's the only way I can get some of my paitents to listen to me."

"I'm skipping straight to a second opinion, in the first one, I thought you were OK."

"My mom said I can't come here anymore." "What? Why not, Billy?" "She said she sends me here to get hot chocolate, not to get bad relationship advice." "What 'bad' advice? All my advice is solid gold." "You told me to call the IRS with an anonymous tip about Andrea Wheaton's father avoiding taxes, so next time he tells her I'm a bad influence he'll look like a hypocrite." "That didn't work?"

'You can't get swine flu from your piggy bank!'

'...You've got no game.'

"I'm just saying it's not very mysterious."

"Maduro says we run U.S. policy!"

"I don't care what it said when you looked up your symptoms on the internet. You arenot Anorexic."

'I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I've either got...'

I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I've either got swine fever,rift valley fever,bovine spongiform encelophalopathy,bluetongue or a stubbed toe!

"And folds. . . this amazing product is endorsed by President Trump hisself. . ."

"Grandma, if an apple-a-day really did keep the doctor away... the surgeon general would find that apples cause cancer!"

Lots of people helping out with the self-service machine.

'This 'multiplication' stuff - did you check it out on Snopes?'

The Genius of Science-Denial

"Your husband is telling you not to come here anymore because, 'this so-called spiritualist is a phoney'!"

"Stupid insurance form won't let me choose web as my primary care physician!"

"People are saying you're fake news."

"First the gloves, then the masks, now the tinfoil hats."