Internet Comedy Buff Pillows

"Your eyebrows have gone viral. Get some tweezers."

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

"Did you get my tweet?"

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

"She looks just like in your photos."

Chasebook

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

Twitter that!

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

Advertising on the internet.

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

Facebook For Dogs.

"Can you take a video of me attacking the garbage so I can post it on Instagram?"

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

"The internet without cat pictures? No way! Make a realistic wish like peace on earth, justice for all, everlasting life, sane politicians..."

"Google gets thousands of requests each day to erase links. Most of them seem to go back to my website."

"There is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. Lol. Winky face."

"It says 'Click here to enlarge.'"

I've founded my own religion. Of course you have, Rudy. It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths. If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted. What are the central tenets of your religion? A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation.

"I have to give you credit. You're a pit bull and you're nice on and offline."

"Just right click, save as, and now you own the complete works of William Shakespeare."

"Great, the end of the world and I'm going to be first on facebook with pictures!!"

"Honey, our pop-up blocker stopped working again."

"It's great the way that computer algorithms allow the internet to feed me with opinions that reinforce the ones I've already got - all on my phone!"

>Enter new password: BEEF STEW >Password not stroganoff.

Multiple personalities with blogs.

Internet Shoplifting

"This hilarious prank of yours is gonna go viral. This is a prank isn't it, Phil?"

You've got snail.

"I sell them for Website names."