International Jetsetter Gifts

'He's not in the office this week. He's visiting his offshore money.'

Airlines

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

"First class, or with children?"

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

'Are we there yet?'

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

Travelling

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

A private jet takes off

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

Private Jet

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

'I'm sorry. I probably should have talked to to you before I took down our wedding photo and put up a picture of my jet.'

'He must be going economy!'

Airport Bored Rooms

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

"These shades are GREAT-I dreamt I was in Tahiti!"

Two airplanes

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

'And don't be afraid to ask for directions.'

'It has all the comfort of a regular jet, but it's invisible to shareholders.'

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'