Luxury Jetsetter Gifts

'It has all the comfort of a regular jet, but it's invisible to shareholders.'

'Oh, the amenity!'

Airlines

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

"First class, or with children?"

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

Fighter Jet Sneeze

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

'Are we there yet?'

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

Travelling

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

A private jet takes off

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

Private Jet

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

'He must be going economy!'

'I'm sorry. I probably should have talked to to you before I took down our wedding photo and put up a picture of my jet.'

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

Two airplanes

"These shades are GREAT-I dreamt I was in Tahiti!"

'And don't be afraid to ask for directions.'

Airport Bored Rooms