Internal Alchemy T-Shirts

How NOT to solve the problem of 'floating elbow' in your taiji

"The Langmore Regional High School Inner Debate Team"

"I said slime."

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

'Well, Frobisher, it's taken a millennium, but thanks to our initial public stock offering, we've finally turned lead into gold.'

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

'Now all this stuff will finally begin to pay for itself - here's the formula for transmuting lead into gold.'

'This is my natural habitat.'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

'The Algenist meets the Alchemist.'

Motorway of the Self

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

'I think that's enough brain defragging for today.'

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

'Why Isaac Newton kept returning to alchemy...' 'There's just no money in gravity.'

Ugggghhh....eye of newt's off!

The End is Near art gallery opening.

'Mr. Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy, and have come to one conclusion: Stick to physics.'

'So what if she only brew a few cases a year. We can still do business.'

'Why bother recreating the 5,000-year-old recipe fo the ancient Egyptians, when there's already one that old at the back of the fridge?'

"Of course you can't replicate my experiments. That's the beauty of them."

'Have no fear - I'll have the project completed for you in no time.'

"Eye of newt. . . wing of bat. . . hair of dog!"

"You need to get in touch with your inner tadpole."

"I was going to transmute it into gold, and then I read that the base metal market has made a remarkable recovery!"

"Ulrich, that's bad science and you know it!"

"Since I've been using this organic stuff my potions are far more effective."

Ding and Dong.

'Hmm, wrong bottle. I guess THIS one must've been the Elixir of Death...'