Inner Critic T-Shirts

The End is Near art gallery opening.

They hated me.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Reading my Critics

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

Preliminary Price Tag: $5,000,000,000

Movies vs. Films

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

The new Physics

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

About 40% of the nation's coronavirus deaths could have been prevented...

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

Whistler's father.

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

Constructive Criticism 50c.

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'