Inner Critic Mugs

The End is Near art gallery opening.

They hated me.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Reading my Critics

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

Preliminary Price Tag: $5,000,000,000

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

The new Physics

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

About 40% of the nation's coronavirus deaths could have been prevented...

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

Constructive Criticism 50c.

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'