Interior Design Rebels Pillows

"I wish the government would speed up the conversion of this base to civilian use."

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"I wish I'd never bought Harold that 3-D printer."

Superintendent

Man who has called of his engagement because his fiancée did not match his furniture.

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

"I can really picture settling down and destroying a suburban family's attic with you."

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

"I bought a fake rock to cover up this ugly rock."

'What paste?' (Husband nailing wallpaper to the wall).

Ceiling painter with an umbrella.

"This is the precise reason I didn't want bamboo flooring."

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

"It may not be the hardwood floor we were hoping for, but it's SO much better than that hideous carpeting!"

Man defaces a painting to make it fit above his fireplace.

Dracula reading fang shui.

'Wait, put that back where it was. Let's see how the scratching post looks in this corner.'

"Harold! Come down off the mountain!"

"My decorating style is more like 'Flung Shui'."

'Plastic Surgery. Closed for alterations.'

"I'm thinking about a complete makeover. An extra wick or two and a scent infusion."

After the party the Millers return to their underground lair.

I LOVE what you've done with the place!

Office Furniture.

"I removed the carpeting and lo and behold, hardwood!"

"It's really cold outside. You might want to put on two coats."

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

'I love what you've done with the place.'

"No, you still look fat."

"I liked the couch better where it was."

"So what if it's small," the realtor says, "it's not like you'll be stuck in there."

"I like your floating shelves."