Interior Design Rebels Pillows

"I wish the government would speed up the conversion of this base to civilian use."

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"I wish I'd never bought Harold that 3-D printer."

Superintendent

Man who has called of his engagement because his fiancée did not match his furniture.

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

"I can really picture settling down and destroying a suburban family's attic with you."

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

"I bought a fake rock to cover up this ugly rock."

'What paste?' (Husband nailing wallpaper to the wall).

Ceiling painter with an umbrella.

"This is the precise reason I didn't want bamboo flooring."

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

"It may not be the hardwood floor we were hoping for, but it's SO much better than that hideous carpeting!"

"My decorating style is more like 'Flung Shui'."

Dracula reading fang shui.

'Wait, put that back where it was. Let's see how the scratching post looks in this corner.'

"Harold! Come down off the mountain!"

Man defaces a painting to make it fit above his fireplace.

'Plastic Surgery. Closed for alterations.'

"I'm thinking about a complete makeover. An extra wick or two and a scent infusion."

I LOVE what you've done with the place!

"So far, my redecorating isn't working on him the way I hoped it would."

I'd love to wallpaper our bedroom, but it's too expensive. Not necessarily. Teddy wallpapered his entire room. What?! D�cor. For the cost of a few dozen movie magazines. And a fortune in scotch tape. Rolling Stone.

Office Furniture.

After the party the Millers return to their underground lair.

"I removed the carpeting and lo and behold, hardwood!"

"I liked the couch better where it was."

"It's really cold outside. You might want to put on two coats."

'I love what you've done with the place.'

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

"No, you still look fat."

"I like your floating shelves."

Bob starts to wonder if the pillows are really decorative.