Interior Decorators With A Twist T-Shirts

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Use your imagination.

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

"You're welcome."

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"Too bright."

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

Books / Coffee table books

'Gerald was stripping some old wallpaper, and there it was - Leonard Da Vinci's lost fresco ‘The Battle of Anghiari'.'

"Oh just ignore him!...he always shows off when we have visitors!"

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of being a painter are the hardest.'

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

'It's my main decorating motif.'

'All it needs is a ceiling fan.'

"The next time we redecorate, how about if I choose the art?"

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

Over 50 shades of grey available.

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'