Interior Decor Maverick T-Shirts

'I knew we shouldn't have got 'changing rooms' in to refurbish the surgery.'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

"The knights of the round accent table"

'Is there any chance at all I could get you to stop leaving your pantyhouse laying around?!'

Olly really didn't know his arse from his elbow.

Bathroom Fairy

"I won't be in today, I'm feeling a little under the coffee table."

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

'Don't look at me!'

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

Hairstyles

David wasn't sure about the idea of having denim curtains.

I love what you've done with your hare.

If you can read this, you're standing too close.

"We can't agree on our kitchen redesign."

Doulton Canada Geese

"That's it sorted then - this year we'll spend a fortnight in the spare bedroom."

Grandfather Clock

"We hired all the designers ourselves."

Santa Elevator

"I've changed my mind"

"You fit in. You just don't match."

'He always said he wouldn't be seen dead with his shirt outside his trousers - he'll be livid.'

A weather vane on top of an artist's studio points in directions that include: "pop", "abstract", "figurative" and "post-painterly".

"I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology."

"Would our big tacky objects look good here?"

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

"I don't know what to do anymore! Our new carpet was really expensive but so was the dog!"

Buider, "How crazy do you want this paving, mad,or completely wacko?"

'But you're a dog! How can you know how to read?!?'

'Wow, NICE Flat!'

"The decorator was here. He said we should have a room in which we don't sit down."

'Note his bold brush strokes, Fred...'