Interior Comfort Gifts

"I don't know which soundbar the neighbor is using, but I wish they would turn it down a bit."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Interior design trends for parents....

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"I didn't spark joy."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Second hand furniture.

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

Painting the Ceiling

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"Home depot."

Use your imagination.

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'