Intergalactic Worker Gifts

'We come in peace, seeking only new opportunities to outsource.'

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

An astronaut fishes in volcanoes on another planet.

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

High-gravity baseball

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

"Take me to your mechanic."

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

Dancing with the Star Wars

'Kids, today, Xerf brought in a planet that he found. Now if we look at it closely under the microscope, you can still see it's inhabitants scrambling around.'

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

Science fiction fans on other planets

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

"Hold on - I need to tell the credit card company I'm going on a trip."

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

"What gear are we in, biscuit?"

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

Newborn Cosmonaut

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

An astronaut parties with aliens on the wing of his spaceship.

'Well, that's how we mix martinis around here.'

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

'Sorry, I'm a stranger here myself.'

"Wow! - Do all Earth people look as tasty as YOU do?"

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Woah, This was well worth swapping my flying saucer for!

The solar system is replaced by sports balls.

"Remember everybody, this is planet Earth, so whatever you do, don't drink the water!"

"Did you bring more cars?"