Intergalactic Gift Givers Gifts

'Here comes one now -- bring out the beads and cheap trinkets.'

High-gravity baseball

An 'out of this-world' soccor player stops the penalty his way!

Marry me astronaut

Alien embryo growing in earth.

"I can never understand these foreign crop circles."

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

'Look at him out there... so cold, so distant. Why do I always fall for the bad boys?'

The solar system is replaced by sports balls.

"I don’t know why we bother traveling—they just missed the entire Milky Way."

"I suggest you read this book....it comes highly recommended by earthlings."

'Is it true that you people give tax breaks for minority-owned businesses?'

Tax Preparer. I'm working on my client's tax returns. Mars, being the "red planet," is claiming a business operating loss. Jupiter, with all those moons, takes deductions for almost 70 dependents. And earth has no new nations this year ... so no "capitol gains" to declare. Did Mercury lower his taxes? Yeah, he's eligible for a huge solar energy tax credit!

"I bought my wife a diamond planet"

'We would like to visit with you about the possibility of expanding our franchise...'

Cheerleaders from another planet

Bored kid fighting off an alien attack.

Planeterrium.

'Deploy the Candarm and ready the Canafinger.'

Boozing aliens!

Two Astronauts Playing Pickleball on the Moon

Recent Evidence for the Existence of Dogs

Zapped Spaceship.

"We've bookmarked your planet in case we want to come back."

"Wow!! This doping stuff is worth every penny!"

Astronaut Tetherball

'Eve is a nice addition, except you inadvertently created a lot of sexual tension.'

"I thought I told you to take your new pet outside. Now it's drilling holes in the furniture!"

"Tinder sucks up here."

'Nice little planet you've got here - How'd you like to make sure nothing HAPPENS to it?'

'Here comes more cheap foreign honey.'

'Good news!! I've located a small island in the middle of one of their oceans, where you'll be safe from war, religious conflicts and crime!!'

'Yeah! Let's see LeBron James do THAT!'