Interfaith Humor Lover Pillows

"Open the pod bay doors, HAL - we can't wait for the shabbos goy"

"You call this a constitution?"

Dogma

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

'Those are a few jokes to loosen up the crowd first...how do you like 'em?'

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

'Please take your receipt!'

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'Right now I'm counting the blessings that we owe to Uncle Sam.'

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

A woman in prayer

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

Finger puppets in church.

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

Om and Ommer

'Are you putting on your Sunday Best, Felix?'

'So long as he doesn't preach what he practices.'

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

When The Seven Deadly Sins Come Knocking.

'When I asked for your favourite Saint, I didn't think of someone like Michael Ballack, son.'

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

Nativity - The sitcom

"His name is Jonah. Are you sure you haven't seen him?"