Interfaith Enthusiast Gifts

"Rabbi Mandelbaum?"

"Mr. Levine, may I see you a moment?"

SUNDAY SCHOOL, 'We're supposed to love our enemies? -- Is this some sort of ZEN thing?'

"Love, compassion, forgiveness- those are very christian values" "For all we know I might have been a christain in a previous life"

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

The ecumenical dinner party.

"What did Jesus order?"

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

"No, the Trinity is not the Father, The Son, and the Preacher's wife."

"Does dad know you're dating the guy from the Seder plate?"

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

"Hallelujah!"

"Not only should science be Bible-based, Creationism, but also math, Roman numerals!"

"Stupid HR says you can only fire them..."

"You're correct, God doesn't need your tithe, but the church does."

'I believe you're thinking of leaving us, Brother?'

"Do me a favor, chief. Next time you carve something in stone have it spell checked first."

Attila the Nun.

Interfaith dialogue

'Well, you know what they say about opposite's attracting...'

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

Honk if you're holy.

"Oh, I know He works in mysterious ways, but if I worked that mysteriously I'd get fired."

"Great news! It's a light touch regulatory framework."

A planet like ours - Penguin to camel - "It wouldn't work either way my darling. I'm getting sunburnt out here and back home you'd freeze to death."

'No offense, but some of these sound a little PREACHY.'

'But everybody does that stuff!'