Intercom Installers Pillows

"I see the downsizing continues."

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

"Oh...Hi Bob, listen buddy, I'm in a meeting right now, I'll Caw you back."

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

"I'm away from my desk or on another line. Please leave a message at the sound of my impersonation of a beep."

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

"I synchronized the complete household with the computer and the smartphone. Now I don't have to feel lonely when nobody is at home because I can talk to the loo."

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

'Don't call us, we'll call you, inc,'

Trumpled

"This is a computer speaking. I will now misconnect you and your party."

Cavity wall insulation in a gingerbread house.

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

"Then I'll huff and I'll puff..."

"Cable, my foot! Still snow on the TV!"

"When did they add this channel?!"

"Operator, I'd like to make a person-to-person call, and I'd like to reverse the roles."

"Sky, sir?"

"Bring me the head of John the Baptist. Just kidding. Get me the Paulson file."

'I may not know much about art but I know what I like to slag off.'

'I hear they're going to cable.'

Installing a humped road sign in a camel enclosure.

'Never mind what I'm wearing!'

' I think this 3D TV will take some getting used to, Dear!'

'All our operators are busy with customers who don't have an eternity to wait.'

Marriage counselor clients: 'Always right,,,never wrong'

"That's the problem with these 'smart' appliances. When one breaks down, they all experience sympathetic malfunction."

RSI

'Unfortunately, I ran out of the satellite dish system but this has the same warranty.'

"But if we let you pick and choose your own stations, that could hurt a lot of feelings."