Intelligent Pet Fan Pillows

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

'This might be the common ground we've been looking for.'

What does aloof mean?

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

Santa Dog

'They sure have small litters.'

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

"He's a Crocodoodle."

"Yeah, and the new job lets me work from home."

Remote-controlled cat flap.

"She's a weiner cat."

Some Zoomies

Using dogs as greeters at church was a failed experiment.

"I'm concerned... She didn't do her usual stretch-bark-rub-her-face-across-the-carpet thing after kibble."

Tandem cyclists

"...31, 32, 33, 34! Boy o boy, the old lady moving in next door has 34 cats!"

'I think the new exercise ball we got the hamster is too big...'

'Some people think they're ugly. I think they're appealing!'

"Either wishbone done hit the mother lode or he been in thet durn mine too long."

"My new dolls are smart. In fact, one of them is doing my homework."

'It's another fax from your dog.'

A blue dog wearing headphones

Cult films!

"Oh, stop complaining—you know she's terrified of the nail clippers."

"The subject on the e-mail is 'Woof" any idea who it's from?"

A yellow dog

Goldfish Owner.

'My name is Katerina, but you may call me 'Kat''. 'My name is Catalona, and you may call me 'Cat'.'

'Hugo's so high and mighty with his fancy hybrid!'

Flee Collars.

'No, not from having children. These are fetch marks.'

Poor Paul's friend