Intelligence Studies T-Shirts

"I have a few questions, Miss Haspel, about your fitness to serve as the director of the C.I.A."

'You know the man we have stationed in Walla Walla? — I think he may be a double agent.'

'Cold war in Europe? We're still working to declassify WWII.'

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

"National security adviser"

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

bird interprets modern art

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

Miss America IQ Pageant

Paul Ree

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

"That's hardly necessary!"

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

"Now that was post-modern sex."

'More government surveillance!'

"Looks like our days at the think tank are numbered."

Thinking with the left side of the brain/Thinking with what's left of your brain.

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'

Assertiveness

"We occasionally remove content that is considered to be subversive, or a potential threat to public order and national security."

Nuclear Security Summit

"With the fortune we have spent in technology, informers and spies around the world, how is it possible that you still haven't found where the heck is Wally?"

Statue of Security

Aggression/Security

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

Government Intelligence

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

The EP-21 spy plane.