Intellectual Jester Mugs

Mental Obesity Spread by Friends

'You are charged with plagiarizing a seventeenth-century sonnet. Won't you academics ever learn?'

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

DIMINATI

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

'To make up for the decline in snail mail deliveries, I've taken to biting my master every time he gets an e-mail.'

Bad Interview Technique

Books / Coffee table books

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

Pandora's Change Purse...

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

"What if it's smarter than us?"

I am one with stupid.

"Hi, I'm the new IT-security-expert! Where is your server room? I want to see if I can overcome your firewall!"

Man Tries Use Telescope In Observatory As Cannon.

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

'Dr. Young is a professor at one of the nation's leading party schools.'

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."

"To maintain proper respect for management, you have to call me 'Boss Joey!' Unless, you know, you don't want to."

Thomas Carlyle

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

Physics 101. An object in motion remaining in motion is an example of what law? Easy come, easy go!